Morning my love. You will always be my love....no matter what happens today or tomorrow or whenever. You will remain the one person outside my family who is my family to me. Ofcourse there will be a couple of other friends who are like my family.... but none of them I would consider my soulmate.
No matter what thoughts grate and grind my mind, at the end of it I can only love you and do nothing else. I am helpless there. For example when you said thank you for the seat, it grated my senses, cause I do it for you as I would do it as if you were my wife or for my mom or my brother. I want you to take me for granted and even be a bit demanding in that sense. Generally...... take me the way you want to take me without any barriers between us. Thats the purity of my feelings.
I want you to know that I understand your heart baby. Atleast most of it. I know what is in there and what are your little dreams and desires. While I want to be a part of every breath you take, I know that is not going to happen.
When you say that "I want to go the other way" or " I feel guilty " or " I feel like i am cheating"......I know that I am no longer able to give you pure happiness in our relationship. If you remember, the only reason I got into this relationship was because i wanted to give you happiness.... make you smile...make you realise how special you are ..... and that I was getting a chance of making you mine...however miniscule it was. It was as much a selfish agenda as it was a selfless one.
But now when i feel that you have trouble looking at yourself in the eye when you wake up in the morning..... and that the thoughts of me bring about a pang of negative emotions..... I know that is not how I want to be thought about. I want to be thought for my passion...and my love....and my insanity for you and nothing else.
I am not drawing a conclusion out of this yet..... maybe I dont have the strength for it right now. I am just putting my heart right out on the table.
I write this as I wish you the best from the deepest corner of my heart with your new job and the new chapter in your life. May you achieve great heights in your profession and may you get whatever it is you desire. Even if i do not appear in that bucket list of yours.
I am super excited for your first day at work.....as if it is my first day. I am a bit nervous too.
I love you Tina....always did....always will.
My passion for you stays.
No matter what thoughts grate and grind my mind, at the end of it I can only love you and do nothing else. I am helpless there. For example when you said thank you for the seat, it grated my senses, cause I do it for you as I would do it as if you were my wife or for my mom or my brother. I want you to take me for granted and even be a bit demanding in that sense. Generally...... take me the way you want to take me without any barriers between us. Thats the purity of my feelings.
I want you to know that I understand your heart baby. Atleast most of it. I know what is in there and what are your little dreams and desires. While I want to be a part of every breath you take, I know that is not going to happen.
When you say that "I want to go the other way" or " I feel guilty " or " I feel like i am cheating"......I know that I am no longer able to give you pure happiness in our relationship. If you remember, the only reason I got into this relationship was because i wanted to give you happiness.... make you smile...make you realise how special you are ..... and that I was getting a chance of making you mine...however miniscule it was. It was as much a selfish agenda as it was a selfless one.
But now when i feel that you have trouble looking at yourself in the eye when you wake up in the morning..... and that the thoughts of me bring about a pang of negative emotions..... I know that is not how I want to be thought about. I want to be thought for my passion...and my love....and my insanity for you and nothing else.
I am not drawing a conclusion out of this yet..... maybe I dont have the strength for it right now. I am just putting my heart right out on the table.
I write this as I wish you the best from the deepest corner of my heart with your new job and the new chapter in your life. May you achieve great heights in your profession and may you get whatever it is you desire. Even if i do not appear in that bucket list of yours.
I am super excited for your first day at work.....as if it is my first day. I am a bit nervous too.
I love you Tina....always did....always will.
My passion for you stays.
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